- When considering just how to care for an individual, a family frequently asks, "Would it be better to put our loved-one into a care facility, or should we try to keep them at home?" There are a variety of pros and cons to both of these situations. Often, the first reaction a family has is to keep the patient at home if at all possible, for as long as possible. That would be the place where the loved-one is most comfortable. It would be familiar and the loved-one would know where everything is. And the family could hire someone to help the loved-one with any daily activities they might have difficulties with. Plus, family members could pitch in as they were available. Yes, that's all well and good. The patient might receive a higher lever of personal attention than in a nursing facility, but they would also be very isolated. On the other hand, a care facility provides much more socialization. The patient will have a collection of other individuals to befriend and interact with if they choose. Also, the facility will have a larger staff and a lot more resources and equipment to utilize. Then one must ask, "What happens to our loved-one at home once they are no longer able to function adequately?" Is it better to move them to a facility sooner or later? These are questions that must be weighed carefully and thought through completely.
- When it comes to caregiving, practicality has to outweigh dignity. Tending to an individual with physical and mental problems is always a challenge and requires a degree of balance between the two. You would love for the patient to experience beautiful, comfortable, familiar surroundings, ones that make them feel safe and at ease. But that often makes the caregiver's duties much more difficult. There is obviously a limit to how efficient and sanitary you can make a living space. And the last thing you want your loved-one to feel is that they are existing in a de-humanized prison cell, devoid of all enjoyable trappings. But please understand, the more a person requires hands-on care, the easier it must be made for the caregivers to do their work.
- Do not give any compromised individual even the slightest chance to cause harm or do mischief. Never give them the benefit of the doubt that they will do the right thing, use common sense, or take the best course of action. Remove all opportunites for negative behavior and inappropriate actions to take place. Always be on guard for trouble and be pro-active. Avoid danger and calamity. Make sure the patient's environment is free of potential hazards and items they should not get into. Be prepared for anything, even things that are unlikely. Surprises can and do happen, and often quickly.
- Never force a patient to "go out and have a good time", simply because you believe they might like to experience a paticular activity or place. Of course, you do not want your loved-one to become isolated and bored. No one wants a patient to become depressed and give up on life. But do not confuse the happiness that doing good deeds brings to YOU with THEIR happiness.
- In some cases, your job may be to simply show up and be there. You might serve as nothing more than a glorified babysitter who guards and observes a patient in need. You might say to yourself, "This is too easy, I hardly do anything significant or worthwhile at all." You might sit there and carry on a simple conversation with your patient or watch TV with them. You might get them some water, or fetch their glasses, or drive them through a fast food drive-through. All of this might seem beneath you. You might think it is a waste of your abilities. But it is absolutely not. The little things really matter a lot, and over time you will discover just how valued your presence is. Being a friend and companion is worth its weight in gold to a shut-in and their family. You may not think your are doing much, but the truth is, you very much are.
- One big part of caregiving is often to administer medications. You will be doing yourself and everyone else a big favor if you organize the pills and fluids. Make a color-coded chart of all the medications: names, functions and times of usage. Then use markers or tape to put a color swatch on the bottle. Also, use a black marker to place the first letter of drug's name on the cap to make it easier to pick out the right bottle. Put all of the bottles in one or two small plastic tubs. Be sure to use a weekly pillbox that you or another caregiver can fill up. Try to keep a journal or tally sheet to record which drugs have been given and when.
- While we are on the topic of note-taking, I always keep an ongoing caregiving journal on my computer, where I record all of the day's major events and observations. I write down the times that things take place. I record medications taken, meals, bathroom breaks, my activities, patient behaviors and comments, people who visit, etc. Sometimes I will photograph or videotape my patient if they do something of interest a doctor or family member would want to know about. Documenting household activities has come in very handy in the past.
- If you happen to be the spouse or offspring of an individual needing care, you absolutely need to readjust your expectations. You have known this person for a very long time and have probably seen them at their very best. You have a pretty good feel for what they are all about, how they operate, and what their capabilities are. Well, all that is going to change. As your loved one ages, or slowly deteriorates from a disease, he or she is permanently going to become a much different person. What I have personally witnessed is that family caregivers EXPECT the loved-one in decline to respond as they have in the past, just as the caregiver remembers them. All they seem to need is a little reminding and encouragement. But that is not going to work, which usually frustrates the family member(s) and makes them angry or sad or confused. Please do not keep trying to make the patient act as before. Those days are over and you must change you approach and the way you view them. The sooner you start treating them as they are, and not how you'd like them to be, the smoother things will go. You can still love them as mch as ever, but don't make things harder for them or yourself.
- Here is something to watch out for. There can be times and situations where multiple people can become involved in the caregiving of a patient. Family members, helpers from different care agencies, medical professionals, and trusted friends can all collide and disagree on what is best for the loved-one. There can be "too many chiefs", and confusion and frustraion can result. Of course it is wonderful to have a wide range of ideas to choose from when you are looking for care and treatment options. But when people insist that they know best and won't let those in charge make the final decision, then trouble ensues. It is generally best to let the established medical professionals and responsible parties have the final say. But not always. There are occasions when the responsible parties themselves are ill-informed or are too emotionally close to the patient to do what is really needed.
- Here are some items that often make things better for your charge. First, providing the patient with an exercise program often is benefitial. Keeping the body strong and active is rarely a bad thing. Next, familiar music can open the minds and hearts of loved-ones. I have seen draw people out and give them unexpected joy. Another tool you can use is aroma therapy. Certain scents can stimulate the nervous system and work wonders with the mind and body. Last of all, there are animals. Cats and dogs can bring great pleasure and relief to an individual with problems.
I will be adding more tips as they occur to me. Until then, have the best experience possible!
